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Jonesing for a Hit of Man Fuel: Of Pigskin Pushers, Football Fanatics, and Blissful Blindness

According to the inanity dutifully recited by the talking heads of the corporate media, the Middle East is teeming with hordes of “Islamofascist” human incendiary devices lining up to detonate themselves into martyr’s paradise.

Fortunately for us highly civilized Westerners, those of us sporting the Y chromosome can channel nirvana with a mere click of our second most treasured tool, the television remote.  [Note: While millions of women may love watching football, the hypermasculinity of the NFL is inescapable].    

Thanks to the benevolence of the NFL and its generous corporate partners, we can experience all manner of machismo delights without departing the physical plane.

Fierce armor-clad gladiators satiate our lust for brutality and violence with displays of unbelievably fierce hits and bone-jarring collisions enacted with extraordinarily well-choreographed athleticism.

Provocatively undressed human anomalies, the likes of whom rarely occur naturally, “cheer on the home team” as they manifest our air-brushed, surgically enhanced male vision of feminine perfection.

Lite Beer, Bud Light, and Coors Light flood us with ice cold rivers of their delectable libations that free of us of the arduous burden of our inhibitions.

And where would we be without “Man Law” to shield us from our long repressed anima that persistently assails our grossly exaggerated masculinity?

For about six precious months of the year, the pushers of the National Football League deliver heavy doses of testosterone, blood, adrenaline, sweat, and alcohol. Man Fuel for its addicted minions. Through the grace of our corporate gods in the United States, a host of media innovations (including a network devoted to the NFL and painstakingly detailed year round analyses) have significantly diminished the agony of off-season withdrawal.

Not far beneath the artifice of this ostensibly harmless venue of entertainment (which has become indelibly etched into our collective psyche) lie a number of baleful elements that warrant further examination. 

During a 1992 speaking engagement concerning his book, Manufacturing Consent, Noam Chomsky observed:
"Take, say, sports -- that's another crucial example of the indoctrination system, in my view. For one thing because it -- you know, it offers people something to pay attention to that's of no importance. [audience laughs] That keeps them from worrying about -- [applause] keeps them from worrying about things that matter to their lives that they might have some idea of doing something about. And in fact it's striking to see the intelligence that's used by ordinary people in [discussions of] sports [as opposed to political and social issues]. I mean, you listen to radio stations where people call in -- they have the most exotic information [more laughter] and understanding about all kind of arcane issues. And the press undoubtedly does a lot with this."

It is worth noting that in a week, about 125 million US Americans will settle in for a day of hedonistic pleasure. Hallmark Cards calculated that the Super Bowl surpasses New Year’s Eve as the biggest party day of the year. US Americans consume more food on “Super Sunday” than any day except Thanksgiving. Super Bowl celebrants will engorge themselves with about 15,000 tons of chips and 4,000 tons of popcorn. Meanwhile, 35,000 human beings will die of starvation.

1. No wonder we find the NFL so intoxicating and alluring. “Mainlining” hours of visual and adrenal stimulation enables us to exercise our right to gluttonous indulgence, couch potatodom, and avoidance of issues that might stimulate our perpetually numbed consciences.

Yet, exercising these “rights” is an expensive proposition. Consider the monetary and social costs of feeding our addiction. The pushers of the NFL demand, and receive, a hefty premium for their product.

It Taxes the Imagination

It may seem unbelievable, but the likes of Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder are entitled to tax benefits for a portion of the salaries they pay to players. US tax laws enable NFL owners to depreciate their employees, classifying football players as business capital rather than human beings. [Note: While the individual owners mentioned in this article, like Daniel Snyder, are not the cause of the systemic problems being discussed, they represent the “old-school” model of NFL owners defined by avarice and arrogance].    

When one of pro football’s elite sells their team, the profits are taxed as capital gains. These bloated plutocrats are actually subject to a lower tax rate than us mere mortals in the working class.

And remember those exorbitant skybox seats that average Joes can only afford in their dreams? Since 50% of the money businesses spend on NFL outings is tax deductible, corporate elites luxuriate from “on high” for half price

What Happened to Welfare Reform?

In the late 20th century, the public spent $20 billion to subsidize the construction of new sports stadiums.  Who knows how much higher that figure would be were we to include the many interest free loans and tax free bonds lavished upon professional sports team owners?

Naturally, one wonders what the working people got in return for their “investment.”

Here is what the Cato Institute concluded:

"The professional sports environment has a statistically significant impact on the level of real per capita income in our sample of [37] metropolitan areas, and the overall impact is negative….For example, the arrival of a new basketball franchise in a metropolitan area increases real per capita income by about $67. But building a new arena for that basketball team reduces real per capita income by almost $73 in each of the 10 years following the construction of the new arena, leading to a net loss of about $6 per person."

It is a sad irony that in a nation obsessed with cutting “entitlement programs,” we offer multi-million dollar hand-outs to individuals already wallowing in excess wealth.

Paul Allen is a case in point. As owner of the Seattle Seahawks, he is on the public dole with the rest of the NFL “billionaires’ club.” In 2000, Allen insisted that the state of Washington pony up 75% of the $425 million “necessary” to build a new stadium for his team. His net worth at that time: $40 billion. Despite his nearly unlimited financial means, the state caved to Allen’s demands for fear that he would make good on his threats to move the Seahawks.

Who Has Boardwalk and Park Place?

Operating as a legal monopoly enables NFL owners to maintain tight control of their market and manipulate supply and demand for their product.

Refusing to expand to cities capable of sustaining an NFL team allows the monopolists to artificially inflate the values of their teams. For example, from 1997 to 1998, the average value of a professional sports team rose from $146 million to $196 million.

Being members of a cartel affords Art Modell and his ilk another avenue by which to fatten their bottom lines. Unfettered by the nuisance of competition, they insist upon, and receive, insane television revenues.

Ill-gotten gains are one thing, but who picks up the tab? Ultimately, the fans find their wallets under siege:

Capitalizing on their monopolistic advantage, Al Davis and company charge ridiculous amounts for parking, concessions and tickets.

As the cost to run commercials during NFL games rises, major retailers raise prices to cover their additional advertising expenses.

Cable and satellite television providers increase their rates so they can continue to distribute “product” for the NFL kingpins.

And, lest we forget, members of the Football Trust like Paul Allen are routinely able to extort outrageous sums of money from taxpayers.

According to economist and author Andrew Zimbalist, the Justice Department could take action against the NFL, but it is "susceptible to political pressure not to upset sports.”

Pushing pigskin certainly has its privileges.

Hey, Coaches, Leave Our Kids Alone!

Lamentably, the NFL also reflects the covert, and sometimes overt, racism which still pervades our society. In a March 2006 interview with former NFL player Anthony Prior (about Prior’s book, The Slave Side of Sunday) James Harris noted that:
"In the NFL, 65% of the player force--as you know and well document in the text--are Black. Six percent of the general managers are Black. No--as you noted--no owners in the NFL are Black"

Later in the interview, Prior commented:
"This is what I call ‘mental slavery.’ Slavery is not limited to bondage and chains. You got parents, preachers, teachers, coaches, fundamentally imposing these characteristics on these young Black children in America, that without sports, you’re going to amount to nothing. Every Black athlete we see on a professional level, he is one in 12,000. There are two things that can’t lie: That’s God and mathematics.”

Prior’s quote underscores what is perhaps the NFL’s greatest sin. Mirroring the duplicitous Horatio Alger portrayals of upward mobility in the US socioeconomic hierarchy, the NFL, its loyalists, and a multitude of college and high school coaches perpetuate pernicious myths. Myths that motivate our children, particularly those who are Black and impoverished, to pursue pipe dreams, embrace vacuous values, and severely skew their priorities.

Contrary to the fallacious belief that football is a viable route to a free college education, only 20% of college athletes receive full scholarships. At least 55% play with zero financial assistance. A 1996 study determined that a mere 45% of Black college football players attained their degrees.

Another study revealed that 66% of Black teenagers believe that they will become professional athletes. 33% of White teenagers share the same misconception. Regardless of race, the statistical probability of a teen growing up to become an NFL player is infinitesimally small.

Here are some sobering statistics which reveal the virtual impossibility of their dream becoming reality:
The US population is 300 million. In 2000, the US Census indicated there were 10 million males of typical NFL draft age. Each individual’s odds of experiencing life as an NFL player drop precipitously when one considers that there are only 15,000 football players eligible for the draft each spring. Of those fifteen thousand, 160 young men secure NFL roster spots. One hundred sixty out of 10 million become NFL players.

While it is understandable that many Black teens facing significant structural barriers to escaping a life of poverty aspire to be the next Michael Vick, Harry Edwards, a Black sports sociologist, put their false hopes into perspective:
“Statistically, you have a better chance of getting hit by a meteorite in the next ten years than getting work as an athlete.”

Infantile Self-Absorption

Imagine what we could accomplish if we focused more of our resources and efforts on attainable goals and socially redeeming activities.

Right here in the United States over a million people are homeless at any given moment. Tens of millions lack proper nutrition and access to health care. Our infant mortality rate is the highest among industrialized nations. Untold numbers caught in Katrina’s Diaspora are still scattered to the four corners of the Earth. One in seven US Americans lives below poverty level.

But, if enough of us among the poor and working class united, it would be within our collective power to mitigate the suffering of those in need.

Instead, we choose to sate ourselves with the man fuel so readily proffered by the NFL. In so doing, we subsidize the very billionaires who plunder our communities’ precious resources and peddle delusions to our children.

Pity so many of us are too busy “living NFL and drinking Diet Pepsi” to notice, let alone care….

Jason Miller is a wage slave of the American Empire who has freed himself intellectually and spiritually. His essays have appeared widely on the Internet, he volunteers at homeless shelters, and he is recovering from his addiction to the NFL. He welcomes constructive correspondence at willpowerful@hotmail.com or via his blog, Thomas Paine's Corner, at http://civillibertarian.blogspot.com/